{"id":1619,"date":"2015-01-30T20:54:08","date_gmt":"2015-01-30T20:54:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.santamonicafertility.hk\/?p=1619"},"modified":"2017-04-06T14:59:30","modified_gmt":"2017-04-06T14:59:30","slug":"supporting-friends-infertility-issues","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.santamonicafertility.hk\/blog\/supporting-friends-infertility-issues\/","title":{"rendered":"Supporting Friends with Infertility Issues"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignleft\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/YA7kcUhgnw8?rel=0\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>Can you imagine what it would feel like if the sight of someone pushing a stroller suddenly made you feel angry, wistful, or depressed? If you&#8217;ve got a friend going through infertility\u2014which can include frequent miscarriages or the inability to get pregnant\u2014feelings like this are a daily struggle.<\/p>\n<p>Couples who are experiencing infertility often go through extreme emotional ups and downs. Supporting a friend or family member who is going through infertility can be difficult if you haven\u2019t gone through it yourself. Here is a quick primer on infertility facts and what you can do to support a friend or family member who is going through infertility.<\/p>\n<div style=\"clear:both;\"><\/div>\n<p><strong>Infertility Facts You Should Know<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>In the US, 1 in 8 couples experience infertility issues.<\/li>\n<li>Infertility is medically defined as not being able to get pregnant after 12 months of unprotected sex (or after 6 months if you\u2019re over 35), or being unable to carry a pregnancy through to a live birth.<\/li>\n<li>In addition to the number of couples experiencing infertility issues, there are millions more who reach the mid-40s childless because of social infertility (not finding the right person to have a baby with, or being partnered with someone who doesn\u2019t want children or cannot have them). These individuals, too, may\u00a0be experiencing some of the emotional symptoms of infertility.<\/li>\n<li>About 1\/3 of infertility cases are related to the fertility of the male partner, 1\/3 are related to the fertility of the female partner, and the remaining 1\/3 are caused by a combination of factors or by unknown causes.<\/li>\n<li>If a young couple (with both partners under the ages of 35) has not become pregnant after 1 year of having unprotected sex, it\u2019s time to see a fertility specialist.<\/li>\n<li>If a woman over 35 has not become pregnant after\u00a06 months of having unprotected sex with her partner, it\u2019s time to see a fertility specialist.<\/li>\n<li>Having difficulty getting pregnant does not mean you are infertile. 98%-99% of couples who struggle with infertility at some point eventually have a baby, either with or without medical help.<\/li>\n<li>Facing infertility is acutely stressful. <a href=\"http:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pubmed\/8142988\">Studies show<\/a> that women dealing with infertility are just as likely to develop clinical depression as women who are going through cancer treatment.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Supporting Friends and Family<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Knowing the basic facts about infertility can help you avoid some of the common mistakes people make when they\u2019re trying to support\u00a0friends with infertility. When talking with\u00a0your friend or family member, keep the following do\u2019s and don\u2019ts in mind.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Do reach out to your friend. <\/strong>Show you\u2019re thinking of her with an email, a card, or by meeting somewhere for lunch. She may need a good friend to talk to and help her remember interests and pursuits beyond her infertility treatments (which can feel\u00a0life-consuming).<strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Don\u2019t push her to make long-range plans.<\/strong> If you have a close friend who\u2019s dealing with infertility, remember that his or her life is put on hold, to some extent, while undergoing fertility treatment. Pressuring them to make vacation plans six months out is insensitive, since they don\u2019t know whether or not they\u2019ll be expecting a baby at that point.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Do ask her\u00a0how treatment is going.<\/strong> If your friend has opened up to you about infertility treatments she\u2019s going through, be a good friend and ask how it\u2019s going. Don\u2019t pressure for more details than she wants to share, but be supportive and show you care.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Don\u2019t complain about your pregnancy or children.<\/strong> This is one of the reasons couples going through infertility often have a hard time being around pregnant women and parents. Unless you really want to alienate yourself from friends going through infertility, don\u2019t complain\u00a0excessively about\u00a0pregnancy symptoms\u00a0or your toddler\u2019s tantrums. Your friend is putting a huge amount of time, effort, and money on the line so she can become a mother. Don\u2019t bash it.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Don\u2019t compare your friend\u2019s situation to someone else\u2019s.<\/strong> Comparisons seldom help anyone, and there are so many complicating factors with infertility that bringing up someone else\u2019s situation may just discourage your friend or make her situation feel\u00a0worse.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Don\u2019t try to solve the situation.<\/strong> Unless you\u2019re involved in fertility research yourself at a top-rated medical clinic, you aren\u2019t going to know of a groundbreaking treatment that her fertility doctor isn\u2019t aware of. Please, don\u2019t bring up holistic cures your friend\u2019s friend used to get pregnant, or tell her that it might be time to accept childlessness or look into adoption. These are decisions your friend will be making with her partner. What you can do is provide much needed encouragement and support.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Do let your friend cry.<\/strong> Women going through infertility can be emotional and may burst into tears while at the mall shopping, at a restaurant, or while watching a movie that you don\u2019t even find sentimental. Please understand that your friend is going through something very difficult and may need someone she can\u00a0express her feelings to occasionally. Walking by a playground, hearing about a friend\u2019s pregnancy, or seeing baby clothes at the mall may trigger some pent up emotions. Hand her a tissue, get her a glass of water, and help her through it.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Sometimes, supporting friends with infertility issues means listening, staying hopeful, and not making judgements. Remember that fertility treatments have progressed significantly over the years and only 1%-2% of couples who are trying to get pregnant end up being unable to conceive a baby. That means that chances are, your friend will end up getting pregnant eventually. Showing support and love during this stressful time will be much appreciated in the years ahead.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Can you imagine what it would feel like if the sight of someone pushing a stroller suddenly made you feel angry, wistful, or depressed? If you&#8217;ve got a friend going&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1622,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2657],"tags":[75,45],"yst_prominent_words":[],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.santamonicafertility.hk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1619"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.santamonicafertility.hk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.santamonicafertility.hk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.santamonicafertility.hk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.santamonicafertility.hk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1619"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/www.santamonicafertility.hk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1619\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5118,"href":"https:\/\/www.santamonicafertility.hk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1619\/revisions\/5118"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.santamonicafertility.hk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1622"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.santamonicafertility.hk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1619"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.santamonicafertility.hk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1619"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.santamonicafertility.hk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1619"},{"taxonomy":"yst_prominent_words","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.santamonicafertility.hk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/yst_prominent_words?post=1619"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}